The battle you never win

What you resist, persists.

C.G. Jung

There is only one battle that you are guaranteed to lose.

And that battle is the one with yourself.

When you fight against yourself, you lose every single time.

Why would you ever fight against yourself?

Usually this happens when you want to reject feeling a certain way.

Judging our feelings as “good” or “bad” is simply not useful.

When you resist a feeling, this can feel like trying to hold your door closed when someone is pushing against it trying to get in.

Or holding a beachball beneath the surface of the water in a swimming pool.

On the surface it looks calm and collected, but the longer the ball is under the water, the more pressure it builds.

Until it comes forcefully out of the water; unpredictable and out of control.

It is the same with our emotions.

When we resist feeling a certain emotion and judge it, we only give it more power. It is only a matter of time before it turns into something even more powerful and unmanageable.

This might look like feeling nervous before a game. When resisted, those nerves turn into anxiousness, which then can turn into a full on panic attack.

Or when you want to pretend something doesn’t bother you. When it really does. And then you end up blowing up or being extremely dramatic and wondering why this always happens to you.

See the problem?

You start to fear certain emotions. Not wanting to feel them. Rejecting them at all costs.

By pushing the feeling away, you are inviting it to stay. Any energy you use to fight it only increases its power.

When you are willing to feel any emotion, there is no need to resist.

Sweaty hands, tightness in your head, chest and shoulders, a sick, buzzing feeling in your stomach, quick, shallow breathing, and a racing heart beat is nothing you can’t handle.

This is what the experience of nervousness is for many of you.

It isn’t great, but it sure beats a full on panic attack.

When you are willing to feel any emotion, there is nothing you can’t do.

Realizing that all emotions are caused by thoughts we are choosing to focus on changes everything.

Once you can process an emotion all of the way through without resistance, then you are able to choose whatever feeling might be more useful in the moment.

This is only possible once you really learn the skill of allowing your feelings.

This is the work we do in Find Your Edge.

What would you do with more control over feelings?