“I’m so tired.”

Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.

Wayne Dyer

Have you ever been that athlete?

The one who comes to practice and starts off by telling everyone how tired they are?

I hope not. But if so, I’m glad you’re here reading this.

All of you feel tired–mentally, physically, or emotionally–for different reasons.

There is the physical sensation of being tired, and then there is the thought “I’m tired.”

Whatever you focus on, you only create more of.

What happens when a teammates shows up to practice and is “tired?”

They participate, but their effort and energy levels are low.

Less energy and less effort result in less than desirable outcomes.

What about when it’s the 4th quarter?

Same outcome.

Do you really want to be giving less effort and energy when it is needed the most?

I’m not saying you aren’t actually tired, but what good does focusing on it do?

Being tired is part of the human experience.

The thought “I’m tired” is only useful if you are going to take a nap or go to bed.

Any other time, it is totally useless.

Decide to take back your responsibility for how you show up.

Being tired is a choice.

You really can do anything you set your mind to when you are willing to feel any feeling. Including tired.

Focus on what you want to create more of.

You can always work hard and bring your best energy.

Show up and give value to those around you.

Most importantly, show up for yourself.

You will be glad you did.

When you’re bored

There are no uninteresting things. Only uninterested people.

G.K. Chesterton

It seems that many athletes are feeling more bored than usual lately.

As an athlete, you keep a rigorous schedule.

Going to school, school activities, homework, and club sports usually fill much of your day.

But times have changed, at least for now.

Many of you find yourselves feeling bored.

Thinking that this boredom has descended upon you and that you are at its mercy.

You try to busy yourself, doing meaningless tasks you also find uninteresting.

It is possible you even think it’s better to sit on the couch scrolling social media than to sit on the couch doing “nothing.”

Boredom leaves you desperately searching for someone or something to entertain you.

I have great news for you.

The reason you feel bored has nothing to do with your new circumstances.

It is always caused by a thought.

“There is nothing to do.”

“I’m so bored.”

“It doesn’t really matter.”

“I already know this.”

Boredom is dangerous.

It creates a sense of emptiness and frustration at the same time.

Initial awareness around feeling bored can be great to encourage you to take action.

But more often than not it is easier to wait for someone else to solve the problem for you.

Giving your power away to something outside of you provides a temporary relief from that responsibility in the moment. But it doesn’t really give you the result you want.

The sooner you learn it’s on you to make life interesting, the better off you will be.

You can truly choose to be interested in anything. Even while sitting still and doing “nothing.”

Being bored is nothing more than a choice.

Your mind is fascinating. Start there.

You might be surprised at how interesting you actually are.

Overwhelm is optional

Time is relative; its only worth depends upon what we do as it is passing.

Albert Einstein

“I’m too busy.”

“There aren’t enough hours in the day.”

Sometimes we think a version of these thoughts, like “I have so much to do and not enough time.”

The only thing these thoughts ever produce is feeling overwhelmed.

Which then leads to feeling stressed out, rushed, and then more overwhelm.

Think about the last time you felt like you had too much to do and not enough time.

How much “stuff” (assignments, tasks, homework, chores, etc.) does it take before the overwhelm kicks in?

Overwhelm is always laced with a little bit of self pity. Some element of thinking you aren’t able to handle it all.

Notice how often you actually do end up handling it all. How often do you get all the things done?

For many of you, it is most of the time.

You finish your assignments. On time.

So tell me, is feeling overwhelmed necessary?

It pretends to be.

You think that feeling overwhelmed is caused by all of the “things.”

But it is created by your thoughts.

Feeling overwhelmed simply means you have decisions you haven’t made yet.

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.

J.R.R. Tolkien

It’s true.

When you start to feel overwhelmed, take a step back and separate the facts from the drama.

What assignments do you want to do (remember how you never have to do anything?) and when are they due?

Next, decide.

Decide when you are going to do the assignment. You get to choose how much time you spend on something.

Remind yourself you have plenty of time. Always 24 hours each day. Never less, never more.

Remember how you always get things done on time.

You can handle it. Everything is as it should be.

Choose to constrain yourself to focusing on one thing at a time.

Very calm, peaceful even.

Can you see how the overwhelm and stress really aren’t necessary or useful?

How you manage your vocabulary around how much time you “have” or “don’t have” makes all the difference.

You get to pick what you do. The more options you have, the better.

Appreciate all the things you get to experience because of all the options available to you.

Everything is for your benefit and growth.

It is all working in your favor.

Let that be your truth.

Overwhelm really is optional.

How to stop being confused

Everything is figureoutable.

Marie Forleo

Do “I don’t know” and “I’m confused” sound familiar?

What about “It’s too hard?”

How often do you find yourself saying these words?

Notice what doubt and confusion create.

When you say that you don’t know what to do or that you are confused, what usually comes next?

It usually provides a subtle sense of relief and a lack of responsibility. This is then followed by expecting someone or something else to tell you how or what to do.

This lack of responsibility then gives away your power. You are no longer in control because something outside of you has to solve for you not knowing or being confused.

There is no upside.

Not knowing and being confused simply prevent you from moving forward and keep you stuck right where you are at. They keep your brain busy, but it is not productive.

The good news is that “I don’t know” and “I’m confused” are both thoughts.

You can decide to never allow those thoughts to stick around.

So, what can you think instead?

It is far more useful to think you are figuring something out or haven’t decided yet, than to say you’re confused or you don’t know.

Be on to your brain.

Dwelling in confusion and not knowing takes away all your power. They leave you waiting for something outside of you to solve your problem.

The only problem you ever have is a thought problem.

You have everything you need within you right now.

Ask yourself better questions. Your brain loves to find answers for you.

Decide you will never allow yourself to be confused or say you don’t know ever again.

Belief Bucket

You are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be.

Wayne Dyer

You all have a bucket.

As you grow up your opinions and views about life are shaped by many factors.

Your family, community, culture, church, school, neighbors, teachers, and several other sources shape your beliefs.

They offer ways of thinking that you allow into your belief bucket.

As children, you do not have the ability to determine what goes in your bucket. But as you get older, you can learn the ability to look into your belief bucket and see if you like what you find. Are your current beliefs useful or just weighing you down?

So, what is a belief?

A belief is usually a thought from the past that we have thought over and over again until we think it is true.

Your belief becomes so second nature, you don’t even realize it is there. Like water to a fish and air to a human. You might not notice it, but it affects everything you say, do, and feel.

Once a belief is established, your brain is programmed to search for evidence to prove this belief is true. It will even reject clear evidence against your belief.

For example, if you think Ram trucks are the best, you are going to find all kinds of reasons to support that belief. If you think Ford trucks are the best, you will do the same. But the truth is, it is a matter of opion.

Interestingly enough, most beliefs come from the past. If we are only believing things about the past, then we will be creating more of the past.

So, how do you believe something you don’t yet believe?

Beliefs about your future are based on what you want. What do you want to believe?

There has to be an element of faith when you want to believe new things. The opposite of faith is certainty.

To exercise faith, you must be uncertain. You have to be ok not knowing if the thought you are thinking is “true” or not.

Your brain isn’t going to like that.

So ask yourself questions.

How could the thing you want be possible?

What would you think if you did believe it?

Why do you want to believe this thought?

Your brain can’t help but find an answer.

What you search for you will find. What you focus on, you create more of.

You get to decide what to believe, and what is true for you.

Your beliefs are meant for you to follow, not for everyone else.

Decide what beliefs you want to keep in your bucket, and decide what you can let go of.

Don’t let your brain run on default.

Question all of it. Think deliberately.

Protect your bucket. Guard it carefully. Be selective of what you allow in.

What’s in your bucket?

Mistake Myths

Mistakes are part of being human. Appreciate your mistake for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

Al Franken

Mistakes get a bad rap.

How many of you have been told to not make the same mistake twice?

That doing so is committing an unforgivable offense.

Once is ok, but twice? Unacceptable.

So you’ve been told.

Not only do you hate making mistakes, the worst is what comes after the act.

The blaming and the shaming, usually toward yourself but sometimes towards your teammates.

You have not only disappointed yourself, but you’ve also let your team down.

What does that even mean? You’ve heard it so much you just accept it as true.

What if it wasn’t possible to let anyone down, ever?

Whatever you focus on, you create more of.

So I’m giving you permission…

To dump these thoughts about mistakes. They are useless. Detrimental, even.

Do you ever really perform better when you think this way?

The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake — you can’t learn anything from being perfect.

Adam Osborne

I’d like to invite you to consider how all the things you think about mistakes could be myths.

Here’s what is true:

Mistakes are part of the process.

You can learn faster from a mistake than you can from success.

Mistakes are necessary.

If you aren’t making mistakes, you aren’t challenging yourself enough.

Mistakes are stepping stones to success.

Nothing has gone wrong.

Every mistake you make is progress.

You are closer now than ever before to becoming the person you want to be.

Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before.

To believe anything else would be the greatest mistake of all.

Believe this and discover the difference.

Your life will never be the same.

Believing on purpose

We have a habit of distorting the facts until they become bearable for our own views.

Charlie Munger

What is a belief?

It is a conviction that something is true.

Where do beliefs come from?

For most of us, our beliefs are based on our past experience, and on what we have learned from other people in our lives either directly or indirectly.

Other people are great to learn from, but every person has their own set of beliefs. Beliefs are really a code for us to follow, not for other people in our lives.

When we believe something, we look for evidence to reinforce what we believe. We reject evidence that goes against our belief, and we even rationalize, ignore, or deny anything that doesn’t fit in with our belief.

The problem lies when our current beliefs limit us.

If we are using our past to determine what we believe, we will only create more of what we have already created. This could be a great thing in some areas of our life, and not in others.

Your brain will always want to keep on believing things you have always thought and believed. That is its default. Even when there is evidence of the contrary!

Our brains are programed to be right.

What we think are facts, are often judgements from the past.

How do you know if a belief is limiting you?

By how you feel. A negative feeling equals a negative belief.

So, how do we believe something that has not happened yet? How do we learn to believe new things?

It is a skill that must be developed.

If you believe that you choke under pressure, then you will discount the times you actually performed under pressure, search for all the ways you underperform, create unnecessary pressure for yourself, and end up creating more choking under pressure.

If you believe you are a mental athlete and are inconsistent, you will feel extremely uncomfortable when you are consistent and focused, and won’t be able to stay there long.

When your results are not aligned with your beliefs about yourself, you have two choices.

Bring your mind with you in your transformation by choosing to believe more useful thoughts, or go back to being a mental and inconsistent athlete, or whatever else it is you believe about yourself.

You get to decide what is true about you.

What do you want to believe?

What positive thinking is NOT

If you change the belief first, changing the action is easier.

Peter Mcwilliams

As an athlete, most of you believe in the power of positive thinking.

Especially when you are experiencing frustration or disappointment, I hear many of you say that you just need to think more positively.

What does this look like?

Many times it starts with making a mistake. A hitting error. Missing a shot when you’re wide open.

Choosing to think “It’s okay, I’ve got the next one” might work sometimes.

But your brain likes to offer back how it’s NOT okay. How you will probably mess up again. And let your team down. That if you lose, it will be your fault.

Positive thinking is NOT trying to override negative thoughts by ignoring them by thinking it is ok, when you don’t actually believe that making mistakes is ok.

So, what is real positive thinking?

The first step is acknowledging that you are a human, and will always make “mistakes” as long as you are playing sports in a way that challenges you. It is actually a beautiful thing.

The second step is to realize that whatever you focus on you create more of.

Focusing on a mistake by thinking directly about it or by trying to use a thought you don’t believe, will only create more frustration and disappointment.

Whenever you are competing, the best thoughts are no thoughts. No judgement. No opinion. Just noticing and responding. Trusting your training and staying in the present moment.

The zone where you aren’t stuck on the play you missed, or focused on what the score is or the possibility of losing. This is a skill that must be developed.

Man is made by his belief. As he believes, so is he.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

So if you must have thoughts, which you will, focus them to why you are doing what you’re doing.

Questions like, “What can I learn? What did I miss? How can I make this fun? What can I do right now to help my team?”

Thoughts such as, “Nothing has gone wrong. I always figure it out. This is fun. I always give my best effort. My team needs me now. I can make a difference. I am in control.”

How do you know if you are trying to “positive think” your way out of something?

By how you are feeling. How you feel will tell you what you are believing.

If you aren’t actually feeling positive, then you aren’t believing something positive. You are just thinking something that sounds positive, but isn’t. Be on to your brain.

True positive thinking is accepting you are human, and that you have strengths and weaknesses. It is choosing to focus on your strengths more than your weaknesses. To have compassion for yourself.

You are perfectly imperfect my friend. Embrace it and live into your full potential!

Are you ALL IN?

Go for it now. The future is promised to no one.

Wayne Dyer

“I might want to play in college. I’m not really sure yet. I’ll decide later. Mostly I just want to focus on getting good grades.”

While the getting good grades isn’t a bad idea, being undecided is never useful.

By not deciding to set a big goal, you have effectively decided that you do NOT want to.

Indecision is a decision.

So why not decide you want to chase a big dream, if you actually have felt that desire?

What is the downside to deciding to go for it?

The answer: disappointment. Oh, and then beating yourself up about how you knew you couldn’t really do it anyways.

But the truth is, you will be disappointed either way.

Whether you decide not to go all in and wonder “what if” for years later, and live with the missed opportunities to help your team be more successful, or experience the disappointment of not getting the exact scholarship to the exact college you wanted, it is disappointment all the same.

So what is the upside to going for it?

Who would you have to become to be a college athlete? To decide you want to become the best you can be?

You can help your team be more successful now.

Raise the bar. Decide to chase goals that are going to grow you.

Commit to being the best you can be. See what is possible for you. Give yourself a chance.

You still get to decide what you ultimately choose, but you will actually have several good and desirable options when you decide to go all in now.

Be the athlete who decided to go for it.

You might just inspire yourself and others along the way.

What do you really want?

You can have anything you want in life. You just can’t have everything you want.

Peter Mcwilliams

Have you thought about it? Do you know what you really want, in life or in a particular area of your life?

If we are being honest, what you have currently is what you want.

You always do and get exactly what you want.

Stay with me here.

Let’s use the example of increasing your vertical, because you all want to jump higher am I right?

But when it comes to doing the workout, are you giving 100% effort? Focusing on each muscle and feeling the burn?

Or is it relief that you really want? To take a break? For your muscles to NOT feel the discomfort of shredding and rebuilding?

What about when it comes to feeding your body nutritious food? Are you eating what tastes good now, or sticking to your protocol?

Can you see it? You are always doing and getting exactly what you want.

The question is, which part of your brain is winning? Is it your primitive, toddler brain who is making your decisions, or your higher brain that knows the desires of your heart?

This is why goals are SO important! It is always your higher brain that sets goals, and it gives you the ability to override your primitive brain.

Your goal simply sets the level of the game you are playing. What rules are you going to follow?

If you want to increase your vertical eight inches, what would you have to do to make sure that happens? What would you have to believe?

Once you know the steps, then you can evaluate yourself based on how consistently you stick to your plan.

When your thoughts, feelings, and actions are aligned with your goal…

It is just a matter of time before you reach your goal.

It is inevitable.

You are always doing what you really want. It takes being present and aware to discover what that is.

Once you are aware, you have the power to change anything.

This is the work we do to help you Find Your Edge.

Who are you becoming today?